There is nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself, but whose to say there needs to be a completely "new you"?
So there is this tradition on New Years that most of us take part in, including myself, where we make a list of things that will make THIS year the best year of our lives (which worked so well for 2020). Whether we vow that we won't miss a day at the gym, we will talk to our crush, or just that we will spend one less hour on TikTok a day, we spend a lot of time ragging on ourselves for the way that we spent the last year.
Now, hear me when I say this, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING GOALS. Having goals is a good thing. Going to the gym a healthy amount, putting yourself out there with a crush, and spending less time on unproductive things are all good things. The goal is not the problem, our mindset is. The voice in our head that says "The first day you eat junk food this year, you have failed", is the problem.
I think the reason we fail at most of our New Years resolutions is because we don't focus on bettering ourselves out of love for ourself, we better ourselves out of dislike for ourselves. Harsh.
I want you to take a second to close your eyes and imagine with me, actually don't close your eyes, you can't read with your eyes closed. But I want you to try to recall the last time time you exercised out of love for your body and not to change the shape of a body part you don't like. Can you do it? I don't ask you this to call you out, because I'm right there with you, I ask you this to make sure you have good intentions for yourself. I want you to know that a constant cycle of changing things about yourself because "you could always be better" is no way to live.
How much better would your life be if you fueled your self with foods that give you energy because you love your body and not just because you want to change it? Or if you learned a new skill because it seems fun and not just because it would make you more attractive to that cutie you've had a crush on for a year?
So are we supposed to never changed anything about ourselves? Not exactly. If it seems like you are constantly saying things that hurt the people in your life, you should probably examine the way you speak to them. If you aren't happy with an aspect of your life, you have the power to change it. But your worth doesn't rely on your success of changing yourself.
So here are so tips on making your New Years resolutions:
1. Make a list of things you like about yourself FIRST.
Before you go on and on about the things you would change about yourself, start by giving yourself some credit. You're pretty cool, if you ask me.
2. Come up with a reason for your resolutions.
You are a lot more likely to stick with something if you have a reason for doing it. Make sure your reason. Ask yourself "Do I want to do this out of love for myself, or out of dislike?".
3. Find a partner to accomplish your goals with.
A friend, your parents, a mentor. Find someone you TRUST to go through this journey with. Change is hard, don't do it alone.
I'm not saying "Never make a list of resolutions again", no amount of advice can change the fact that it is fun and that's ok! But your friends at OneLife want you to know that even if you don't fulfill any of your resolutions... we really, REALLY love you.